1 week post op: Tits gone and struggling to keep them UP

It feels weirdly anticlimactic to be on the other side of the first BIG hurdle. I find myself crying...a lot. From pain, grieving the loss of part of my body/large part of my women hood, and from fear of the unknown. My journey is unique in that they found an additional mass on my right breast a few weeks pre surgery. If you're new here, Hi I'm Josee! I had a prophylactic double mastectomy due to severe family history and precancerous cells found in my left breast last year. A few weeks prior to surgery imaging suggested new growth in the right breast as well and I was told I would have lymph node removal to ensure there was no cancer or spread of cancer. GOOD NEWS with an additional specialist review my surgical oncologist felt it unnecessary to complete a node removal. Now I am just awaiting the biopsy results of all of my tissue. A week full of anxiety as I await my fate.

Lets talk about the NOW. Going through a double mastectomy can be an incredibly challenging and emotional experience, and the first week of recovery can be especially challenging (or so I'm learning) . As a previvor I'm finding myself downplaying everything my body just went through, both physically and emotionally. "Its not like I'm dying", "Its not like I have cancer", "It could always be worse/It's not that big of a deal". While all of those statements are entirely true the truth is (screaming this for all of the previvors or ones who are struggling with this decision) its still a HUGE deal. I just amputated my breasts from my body. I find the need to constantly remind myself that it's entirely normal to have a wide range of emotions during this time, including anxiety, fear, and even moments of anger as I take steps toward healing. Full disclosure, I'm not doing great. The whole point of me sharing this journey and starting this non profit is to be honest and real. It's not always "tits up buttercup" sometimes its really hard. So lets talk hard truths.

Ours bodies are incredibly resilient, and as the days pass, I've noticed gradual improvements in my comfort and mobility. I'm learning to celebrate the small victories along the way, like getting a little more restful sleep or experiencing less pain, but SHIT this sucks. I am not someone who likes taking pain meds but have found that they are my friends in this process. Do not be scared to take medications that were prescribed by a physician to get through the day or sleep at night! To help with draining you have to be seated up during sleeping. This incline wedge pillow has been so helpful. Don't get me wrong, if you're not a back sleeper you WILL be uncomfortable but this helps and I'm taking all the little wins I can. On to more things that suck... The drains!! They are uncomfortable and make doing anything a challenge. I only had two drains so I found these the most helpful for showers and these for everything else (buy 2 so you can have one while the other is being washed). My plastic surgeon requires them to be in for 3 weeks, no exceptions, but general rule of thumb is they remain in until your daily output is less than 20-25. Mobility and range of motion, or lack there of, is also challenging. I'm an athlete and just got done doing a bikini fitness competition so not being able to do anything is really messing with my head. My current restrictions include; no lifting more than 10 lbs, no lifting your arms above 90 degrees, no sweating, and no raising your heart rate of above 120 aka I cant do anything. Welcome to my personal hell haha. Yes this is hard but there are always things to be thankful for and that's what I am trying to focus on this week. While my sleep deprived, depressed self is having a hard week my other side wants my fellow previvors/survivors to know this:

It's important o be kind to yourself during this process. Take the time you need to rest, reflect, and focus on your well-being. Healing isn't just physical; it's emotional and mental as well. Don't hesitate to seek professional emotional support if you feel overwhelmed or anxious.( I have after having suicidal thoughts this week) Your emotional well-being is just as important as your physical recovery.

As you continue on this journey, remember that there is hope and strength within you. You're taking important steps toward a healthier future, and you're not alone in this! Many people have walked a similar path and come out the other side with resilience and a newfound appreciation for life. Its also okay to feel ANYTHING you need to feel.

If you ever have specific questions or concerns, always reach out to your healthcare team. They are there to guide you through every step of your recovery and provide you with the personalized care and support you need.

Wishing you strength, courage, and a smooth recovery as you move forward on your healing journey. Remember that healing is a gradual process, and it's essential to be patient with yourself. Your body needs time to recover fully. Tits up buttercup! You got this!

***Keep in mind that individual experiences can vary based on factors like the type of surgery, your overall health, and any complications that may have arisen during or after the procedure. It's crucial to follow your surgeon's specific instructions and have regular follow-up appointments with your healthcare team for personalized guidance and support.